remember that 90210 where Brenda thinks she's pregnant but then at the gyno she gets her period and meanwhile her parents find the box for the pregnancy test while sorting the recycling? That was awesome writing there.

Thirty seconds before I was about to waste another seven dollar pregnancy test, I got my period. Thank God! On the basis of a negative pregnancy test on Saturday I drank half a beer and three cups of caffeine. Also fake sweetener in the tea. I don't want our next baby to be defective on my account.

Also, despite the pang of jealousy that runs through me every time I see a skinny woman with a big round belly, I'm a little ambivalent about getting started on our next big adventure. I mean, I know we want a big family, and that we've decided on 2-3 years as the most appropriate spacing, but still. I don't long for another child the way I longed for Harvey. I mean, Harvey is already here and so perfect! And people tell me that babies are a lot of work.

On the other hand, it could just be the stress (the same stress that annoyingly made my cycle 32 days long this month). My job over the past 6 months has made me all kinds of crazy. Between the communing, the mind-numbing futility, and the relentless accountability, I've felt that I can't handle taking on another knitting project let alone another child. The good news is that it's finally coming to an end. My last day of work is next friday. Perhaps by the end of August I'll finally uncleanch my jaw. In the next few months I may uncleanch other things and say, "Hey, I want another baby!"

Which is all to say, I'm open for another half a beer this weekend, and looking forward to it! But not more than that, because I'm still lactating like a Holstein. Just because I'm not pregnant, doesn't mean I can run the show over here.