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sooo sick

I went to bed last night everything fine, and then I woke with a start at midnight with that feeling. THAT feeling. No, not that one, what type of a blog do you think you're reading? What I woke up with was the feeling that, oh gee, I'm gonna puke.

From that dreadful start I proceeded to vomit or otherwise visit the facilities every fifteen minutes for the next five hours. Ugh. I'm tired just thinking of it. At about six in the morning, when the constant parade of bodily evacuation finally seemed at its end, I looked at Dan and said, "This was much worse than giving birth."

And he was like, "Oh yeah. Way worse."

You may wonder where I picked up a 24-hour stomach bug, seeing as I hardly leave the house these days. Well, like every other optimist in this new year I went to the gym yesterday. And there I lifted weights and pushed all kinds of buttons on the treadmill and most likely came into contact with hundreds of millions of bacteria, one of which managed to lodge itself in my gut and turn itself into a volcano.

But the gym you say, that's the pantheon of health. No, I think the word that you're looking for is paragon.

Anyway, thanks to the overall dehydration I'm down to my goal weight, so there's my new years resolution done. The rest of 2010: sleeping.

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