risky behaviors

We're told that Memorial Day marks the beginning of summer around here. To celebrate, the Globe published an article about everything we should be afraid of every time we dare to venture outside of the house in the warm weather. Mosquitoes, spiders, and ticks, oh my! The way they write it, you're risking instant death every time you have to take the dog for a walk. Unless, of course, you wear long pants and a long-sleeved shirt (in dark colors, natch; just watch out for cars if you're out after sunset).

The worst part was the section on poison ivy; if we have any, we're told we should seek professional advice before removing it. Good thing I didn't know that when I put two layers of plastic grocery bags over my hands and ripped out all the deadly vines that the previous owners of 11 Beacon Street had left to us. Professional help, pah. Professional help will be the downfall of our society, just like orgies were to Rome. Professional help and fear-mongering; I think the Romans had it better.

On the other hand, we're both of us suffering rather severely from the itchies this season. Poison ivy for me, and bugbites for both of us. "I have open sores all over my body," Leah just told me. Ah, summer!