previous entry :: next entry


So, I feel like I should post some updates for those of you who follow my online complaining with some degree of sympathy or concern. Not that I think you should do that, by the way. A passing appreciation of the humor is really all I ask.

After a follow-up chat with my case worker which surprisingly did not leave me wanting to kill myself, Food Stamps finally processed our application. Unfortunately something went wrong with either the processing or the case worker's understanding of Dan's pay schedule, because they put on our card less than half of our regular monthly amount. I haven't been able to reach the case worker on the phone this week, so I don't actually know what's going on. Part of the problem I think stems from the fact that we need to re-certify our income in a month when Dan doesn't have current pay stubs because it's the end of summer. Or it could just be another screw up. At any rate, the figure will need to be reworked regardless when Dan's pay stubs come in mid-month. Then I'll need to fax them over and call her again and see if we can get a normal human allotment for a family of five. In the mean time, we have enough money to use at the remaining four farmer's markets if I can remember to spend cash at Whole Foods, and we have so much storage crops piled up on the dining room buffet that I really can't complain about lack of food.

It's the stress that gives me a stomach ache. And then I wonder when our Mass Health paperwork needs renewed. And then I get so stressed that I have to go swig apple cider vinegar for its probiotic properties.

I've been thinking a lot that I should be a different person. A person who could live with some underlying level of uncertainty, yet still happily embrace life in a fully-present manner. And then I think: who IS this person who happily embraces life in a fully-present manner? Is she, like, a young idealistic perpetually healthy person? Is she prettier than me? I hate her already.

Speaking of health problems, my foot seems to be recovering from the spill I took over the weekend. I'm back to walking and biking like normal, but I skipped aerobics today in favor of boring old weight-lifting in the upper room of the gym where old people use the resistance machines while watching MSNBC. I only made it 45 minutes. Which is way too long to be watching MSNBC. Unless you are making day trades on your laptop while, I don't know, sitting in your pajamas eating rasin bran and milk straight out of the single-serving box. Certainly not trying to maintain an elevated heart-rate and happily embracing weightlifting in a fully present manner.

But I learned that Costco didn't meet its most recent earnings projections. Which is too bad for us, because we're Costco members, although our membership card is currently wedged into the dashboard of Dan's car in the tiny little space where the hot/cold air dial slides back and forth. Zion put it in there while I was cleaning the car yesterday, and the knitting needles / q-tips / sheet of stickers I tried to stick in there to fish it out only made the situation worse. I hope Costco saved enough earnings to print us a new card!

That's all the updates for now. I'm going on a retreat this weekend, which is to say that I'm helping administer a retreat for people who can happily embrace life in a fully-present manner, whereas I am going to be toggling back and forth between the retreat center and driving an hour back home so I can help my children through the 2am - 5am light-sleeping shift. But still, there will be three adult meals without children so that should be something of a retreat. This should excite me instead of making me feel like I suddenly want to cry. Oh My God, I'm going to miss them so much! I have no idea why Dan says I'm so pessimistic.

previous entry :: next entry