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Tooth Hurty.

This morning i woke up all rarrin to get crackin (awful mix of idioms defensible by the fact that i no longer leave my house to speak to people), yet after no more than 30 minutes of wakefulness, i was struck down by a debilitating tooth ache. For those of you who know what it's like not to have dental insurance, you know a toothache brings with it the fear of Hades. Will this need a fill? A crown? God forbid a root canal, in which case i may need to cancel my plans for graduate school.

Luckily, the throbbing pain in my mouth was not due to infection, but to vanity. I had been bleaching my teeth to achieve a whiter interview smile, and i don't know if the nightly effect was cumulative, but for some reason whereas the tenderness had been mildly annoying previously, this morning the agony hit me like a ton of bricks swung by a crane into my face. Holy mother of fuck it hurt. I took asprin, i tried to distract myself. I hid in different rooms of the house, but everywhere i went my teeth KNEW i was there! Finally i gave up in a weeping puddle. I went back to bed and slept till 1pm.

When I woke up again my teeth still hurt, but not so throbbingly so that i had an excuse for not applying to jobs. They say that beauty is pain, and pain is weakness leaving the body. As I lay writhing, however, i swore i would gladly be a yellow snaggletoothed ugly old hag, just to avoid the sight of my own such physical weakness.

Wait, you╠re NOT supposed to bleach your teeth with actual bleach? Oh. My B.

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