previous entry :: next entry

A long story of my loooong day with Craig

I'm sure Dan will write a delighting and delightful account of his weekend in Ithaca. My weekend, on the other hand, blew. Thank God itís over! Oh wait, here comes Sunday. Cursed holy day of rest!

Friday night I took Rascal to my dadís house and crashed in the guest room. Literally crashed. I was so tired from being sick and running all over the world for job interviews that I was ready to konk out and ride the shuffy express all the way to sleepyland. Unfortunately, Rascal was not on board that train. The excited pup was JUST LIKE OMG SOOOOO EXCITED TO BE HERE! running up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs... When we turned out the light for sleeping, this did little to deter the pup from attempting to engage the other dogs in play, albeit in the face of complete darkness and their complete lack of interest. Despite my attempts to calm him down, Rascal jumped on the bed and off the bed and on the bed and off the bed... I achieved only Iíd say about two hours of sleep the whole night, and in those precious moments, I dreamed about getting lost on my way to the Boston.

Well who says dreams never come true! Bright and early at 6am I was up, showered, and on my way to the test of the century. Those of you who have been reading this blog frequently know that I was taking my Saturday career test alongside my professor, Craig, or Craigypoo for those who hold the belief that I am having an affair with him. If I could but show my dear readership a picture of this professor, I believe that everyone would be 100% clear on the integrity of my reputation. To do so, however, would be to poke more fun at this poor man, who has been nothing but a saint to me, who wanted nothing more than to help me prepare for a test, believe in me, and maybe buy me a coffee at seven in the morning. You people.

So Craigypoo called me on my cell at 7:15
"Where are you?" said poo.
"I'm lost," said piglet.
ìYouíre going too far south, turn around.î
Oh Craigypoo, where would I be without you? The South End?

By the way, I had gotten off correctly at the Back Bay, but if I knew the Back Bay like the back of my hand I wouldn't have gotten so bare-assed backwards.

Continuing with our story, Back at the Back Bay Conference Center, Craig and I prepared for the test. Pulling out an oversized bag of trailmix, Craig turned to me and smiled. ìIf you get hungry during the test, I brought nuts!î Oh donít you people start!

From 8am until 2pm I multiple choiced, circle filled, essayed, and ate trailmix. Halfway through at our break I called Dan.
ìGood luck on the rest!î Dan said, ìAnd Iíll tell Tom you say good luck to him too!î
ìHe doesnít need luck today,î I said. ìThe partyingís easy. Itís the rest of his life Iím anxious about.î

During the second half of the test, I actually got so fed up with testing I was about to throw my booklet in the trash and/or fill in C for the remaining thirty questions. No prestigious career is worth filling in so many tiny circles!

Finally it was over, and Craig and I headed to the bar.
ìI donít think I passed,î he said. ìI think you passed.î
ìOh Craig, youíre a professor and a lawyer. Of course you passed.î
ìBut which is it that separates two complete sentences, a colon right? Not a semicolon?î
ìShit,î I said, ìOne of us failed for sure.î

As I got in my car in the parking garage, I asked for one more thing. ìDear God,î I prayed, ìI know Iíve asked for a lot of things from You today. Iíve asked you to help me on this test, to keep me be calm so I can do my best. Iíve asked You to pass or fail me to manifest your perfect plan for my life. But God, I have one more request for you, and this is the biggest one yet. Please, God, help me find my way out of Boston!î

previous entry :: next entry