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4 months 2 weeks

I had hoped to post a holiday picture of my now looming belly, but unfortunately my camera broke this weekend, so you will all have to merely imagine 15 pounds of newly minted fat, goo, and baby poking straight out from my mid-section. As mentioned in the title, I'm not quite half-way with this pregnancy thing, but I've already gained half the weight I'm supposed to! Yeah for overachieving! Actually, mostly yeah for Christmas cookies.

I spoke yesterday with a friend who just gave birth two weeks ago, and she was all, "Are you showing yet? I didn't show until 8 months, and then I found my belly really annoying, like I couldn't tie my shoes anymore." And I was like, um, I have to sit down to tie my shoes and I'm already coming up with contingency plans to avoid bending over. I'm only five-feet tall. I'm showing like I'm smuggling a bowling ball.

All this description is not to complain, however, only to remind the universe that short people show sooner, no I'm not having twins, and if I drop my napkin please someone bend over and get it for me before I pull out my back thinking I'm some spry athlete. Still, it's all in good fun, and a year of pregnancy is shorter than many other hellish things you could live through, like three years of grad-school, or many prison sentences. Well, any prison sentences outside of LA.


re: you being five feet tall, a phrase I've learned from the myriad short girls that I tend to date: "I'm not short, I'm fun-sized!"

If by fun you mean "currently shaped like a beach ball," then Yes! I'm very fun sized!

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