lenten discipline
Lent is coming to a close this week, and I wanted to share a few reflections on the season before I burst in tomorrow with a thousand shots of Easter sewing porn.
In our church we start out the season by thinking of a thing you want for yourself and some things you want for your friends. Then we commit to praying about those things every day. I wanted extra oomph to my prayers this year, so I decided to do a big fast. I fasted from sugar. Cane sugar, corn syrup, dextrose... you get the idea. No cookies or cakes, obviously, but also no ketchup, no soup, no tomato sauce, no cheerios. No Ritz crackers, or really any crackers besides Matzah. No beer because it's made with sugar. No chinese food. No barbeque. No muffins. No stop&shop chicken tenders that sometimes sneak in as covered by food stamps. No lots of things.
I did eat fruit because people who say fruit is sugar are crazy. And I okayed maple syrup and honey to be there in case of emergency. And on sundays I put equal in my coffee because the point is just to miss something, not to hate life entirely.
But still. It was kind of a big deal.
I had a big thing to ask God. I wanted a real relationship with Jesus. Not a theoretical relationship with the historical Jesus. I wanted to meet the guy.
Now, of course I had a relationship with Jesus before. I'm saved and all. But what it felt like was, I'm this prisoner and I have a big hot-shot lawyer in the best law firm in the country. But he's so busy that I never see him, I only sometimes get to talk to him on the phone. And mostly I don't even get to talk to him on the phone, he's so busy he never picks up, so I only write my notes on the margins of the legal briefs and pass them along and hope he reads them. I'd like to see him sometime if he gets the chance, but all the same he's a great lawyer and I'm really glad he's representing me.
Like that.
So I did this sugar fast thinking it'd help me get closer to Jesus. And I'm happy to say I don't think it had anything to do with the sugar. Jesus was more than happy to take a meeting.
Of course, the way I am, I think to change my life I have to change my diet. What a Jew I am. Perhaps I over-think things.
I am looking forward to the return of sugar this Sunday with some excitement. I really do miss ketchup (Oona, I know you're laughing at this if you read all the way to here). But there's also lots of trepidation. I don't miss walking into the kitchen when the kids are screaming and thinking, You know what would make this day go better? CHOCOLATE CHIPS!!!!! Maybe the next time that happens I should call my lawyer.