FSWE
This evening i got a letter informing me that i did not pass the Foreign Service Written Exam, a requirement were i to become a foreign service officer. I'm not too choked up about it; over the course of my unemployment i abandoned my false hopes that i would ever make a big difference in the world. Mostly now i hope for a small difference, like the difference between a clean floor and one covered with dog hair, or the difference between ample ice in the fridge and no-one-else-around-here-refills-the-friggin-trays, or the difference between a whole-wheat bagel and a multi-grain flax one (7 grams of fiber!). I stand around my living room dreaming not of world peace but of decorative sconces. All of a sudden i have gotten old.
One factor that ramped my maturity from margarita-sipping 25 years to futon-cover-hemming pushing-40-year-old was inheriting a teenage daughter. Yes, our new roomate Ashley, while supposedly turning 26 next month, is about as responsible as tropical storm Beryl. On monday i cleaned her beer-cans and cigarettes off the porch. I vaccumed the entire house from two dogs worth of shedding. And i refilled the G--D--- ice cube trays from which SOMEONE had taken all the ice cubes and chucked the container back in the fridge with two lazy cubes clinging to the edge. Then today, THREE DAYS LATER, i vaccumed everything again. Then i brushed Rascal and claimed loudly: "I assume that since no fur is coming off your back, you must have already deposited it all onto the floor. I know it can't be ASHLEY'S dog, the 140 pound Saint Bernard that's shedding, because i don't see ASHLEY doing any vaccuming!!!" Dan was also sitting in the room, and he fell silent, because even he doesn't want to talk to me when i'm MY MOTHER!!!!!
Actually, Ashley is not much worse than Dan on a bad day, except that Dan doesn't come attached to Disney's Beehtoven, and when he leaves dirty dishes on the table i don't mind cleaning them up because Dan is a person who SOMETIMES HAS SEX WITH ME! Ashley i cannot say so much for. Um, thank goodness.
Oh, and by the way, SCREW YOU FOREIGN SERVICE!!!!! NICE JOB YOU'RE DOING GETTING PEOPLE OUT OF LEBANON! NOT!!!!