On my honor, i will try...
As Dan mentioned, we hosted a Girl Scout overnight at our house on Saturday. Then i spend Sunday sleeping and throwing up. Let's never have a teenager of our own.
Actually, the final total was more like 11 and less like 1000 Scouts, but that's still a lot by decibal standards. They're not exactly socialized for conversation, so when there's two of them talking they start to scream at the top of their lungs just to be heard. They don't understand pausing or taking turns so much. In fact, there's a lot they don't understand. Becky overheard them whispering/shouting in the night, and it turns out there's a whole spectrum of sexual knowledge that is still very fuzzy in their minds. In retrospect, i WISH i had hidden a tape-recorder somewhere.
The aftermath of the event was that i felt like i would DIE of sickness. No harm in that, i guess, if you don't have a job to go to. Still, i've sworn off junk-food for at least six more hours. I'm not as young as i used to be, after all.