NOTICE TO ALL BLOG READERS:

It has come to my attention, recently, that some people reading this blog are under the impression that i have gone off the deep end, off my rocker, in other words completely fucking crazy. This is an unfortunate misunderstanding. My goal first and foremost in this blog is always to be funny, and if i emphasize the details of Dan and i being poor, or of me constantly contemplating suicide, it is only with the goal of generating cheerful laughter in the breast of you, dear reader. If you fail to see how constant invocation of self-mutilation is funny, well maybe that's your fault. Because i, quite frankly, find it fucking hilarious!

I have also received comments that the profanity on this blog (note the DOUBLE occurence of the f-word in the previous paragraph) has skyrocketed to a troubling degree. Newsflash: i gave up coffee for lent, NOT CUSSING! I have a potty mouth, and if you don't like it, the stockholders are free to vote me off of this blog. Ha ha ha ha ha, NOT. I was pretending like this blog was a corporation! Yeah, maybe if you paid me SECURITIES you could change the content! Oh yeah, that's a good one! Who just came home from a class in corporate governance law!?

So in conclusion, those of you who come to this blog to hear me say the f-word and make fun of fat people, this will continue. Those of you who are my friends, no need to stage interventions on my cell-phone at three in the morning. Seriously, i'm not going to kill myself unless i'm unemployed for anouther week and a half, at LEAST.