I still haven't found...
A great sadness fell over me yesterday, as i realized that now that i have a puppy sidekick, and a sidekick sidekick, i have everything i ever wanted. Every single thing i pined after and longed for, i now have. Months of whining for a puppy and weeks of saving for a new phone, and while the electronic toy is awesome, and the puppy is fun and loving, i still cannot shake the shadowy feeling that my life is empty, meaningless, dull, and depressing. I even colored my hair and learned how to use a flat iron. No go. Wherever happiness and fulfillment is, i'm so not there.
What do other people my age do to combat this feeling of emptyness? More drinking? But drinking is carbs and i'm on South Beach! Maybe it's the whole unfulfilling job / life-is-work-until-you-die thing that's getting me down. Solution? work be more fulfilling but no toys and fashions? work be more profitable but suicidal yearnings? Help me out here, God. I've been being Good forever, and if my reward is only in heaven, then i'm sick of waiting.