The bags under your eyes make you look so much more mature

When you are wide awake at 2 in the morning, heroically fighting the desire to ingest an entire bottle of NiQuil, Thank Goodness there's someone somewhere on TV making unfunny cruel jokes about celebrity marriages. Otherwise, i don't know how i would have made it through the night.

When i get upset and mad i can't sleep a wink, like when someone tells me that i am naive and childish for caring when someone else botches in the printing a project that i spent every waking second on all week, because it was finally something i had to do that was important that i cared about. "Oh honestly, get-over-it-Leah, you little pouting baby, because other people have other jobs that are way more difficult and obviously more important than yours, and why should you be so upset since what you do is essentially useless and doesn't matter. You should smile and have fun and do things that are more your age level like dance in a tutu on the coffee table purely for my own entertainment. And it ruins your prettyness when you don't smile. And my personal enjoyment of your physical attractiveness is the only valuable reason you have to continute to live on this planet."

It's Saturday, and we're open, so if anybody wants to come in and buy jewelry in the middle of this rainstorm, i will be here. The jewelry ranges in price from $15 to $10,000, but my blood sweat and tears are free of charge!