Happy Roshashunnnnuhhhh
Mom: "Would you like a pear for dessert, Leah?"
Leah: "Um, can I have half a pear?"
Dan: "Half a pear is one."
Sunday school, Monday school
Leah: "One of my 12-year-old Sunday-school students has wicked bad ADHD. I'm like, 'So, what are some of the rituals we do in the Episcopal church?' And she's like, 'I got a kitten!'"
Dan: "That's better than at my grad school, anyway. The teacher asks a question and the whole room is like silent."
Leah: "You should try business school. The kids in my class do NOT shut up."
Dan: "They're trying to impress the professor?"
Leah: "Yeah, and there's this one girl who always makes stupid comments like fifty times a lecture, when there are fifty other students in the class who want to talk too, and it's always really retarded comments she makes. Like last time, the professor was saying 'If you have a difficulty understanding the difference between involved and committed, if you had bacon and eggs this morning the hen was involved, the pig was committed.' And this girl raised her hand and said, 'That sounds really good; I didn't eat breakfast this morning."
Dan: "You mean she didn't say, 'I got a kitten!'??