my hips don't lie
A few days after January first, i and millions of other women around the country embarked on a new diet plan. As someone who has tried just about every diet plan that exists other than Atkins which is totally gross how can a diet plan include unlimited steak? i've become a bit of a diet snob. I've also gone the way of snooty personal trainers who can only do their OWN workout that THEY invent. For my wedding, i lost weight on a mix-mash plan i invented that involved counting calories up to 1600 each day for the first month, and then eating nothing but protein powder mixed with water for the second month. That and a colonic, and i walked down the aisle at a hundred and fifteen pounds. Fast forward to a year-and-a-half later, and despite many other diet techniques practiced half-heartedly since 2005, i managed to eat my way up twenty pounds from my wedding-dress size. Tired of logging calorie counts in spiral-bound notebooks, i decided to swallow my pride and join the unwashed masses. I joined Weight Watchers.
Ugh!!! How disgustingly quotidienne that sounds! I have forever made fun of Weight Watchers for being he social club of fat old women who can't control their cravings for an entire chocolate cake, while i can survive aetherially on water and vinegar. But WW offered an alternative to writing down calorie counts, which i have done every day for a like billion years, so swallowed my zero-calorie pride and gave in. The WW system uses a series of points, you see, that convert calories and fat and fiber to a number like 1, 2, or 12 (for that burrito and fries i ate at the fast-food place yesterday). The online portal is embarrassingly fun and easy, and the first week i lost 2.5 pounds. This morning marks the end of the second week, and another 2.5 pounds lost pushes me to the illustrious five-pound mark, of which there are only three more to go before i can recognize myself in the wedding pictures. All of this to say "yah me!" and also sort of yah for Weight Watchers, even though diet of the stars it is not.