previous entry :: next entry

A late-night conversation between me and my brain

Me: I'm kind of worried about the baby's sleep patterns. Can you serve up some wisdom from my past experience in parenting?

Brain: Here are five things that happened to you in high school that were shameful! I will now commence playback in vivid detail.

Me: That hardly seems pertinent. I just wanted to remember what my first two children slept like at ten months.

Brain: How about something from the vault? Here's a shameful situation that you never even knew you remembered!

Me: This also has nothing to do with sleep.

Brain: Oh boy! You sure didn't stand up to that hairdresser in 1999! She totally permed your hair instead of straightened it.

Me: Not only is that memory completely unrelated to the situation at hand, but now I feel vaguely angry and embarrassed as well as sleep deprived.

Brain: You should cut yourself to let the feelings out.

Me: You're batshit crazy, you know that.

In related news Elijah is waking up every hour to nurse, which is something like eight times a night. I don't want to say that it feels like I'm being sexually assaulted, because that would mean I'm engaging instead of dismissing the crazy monster who lives inside of my brain just waiting to make such unsavory allusions. But it sure feels like something. I've started sleeping in a bra so that no one can accidentally touch my other nipple. This is not enough protection, so I ordered some spanx online in the hopes that this will shield the rest of my skin from tiny hands. If I start sleeping in spanx we may have reached peak sensory integration failure. On the other hand... WICKED HOT!


Lol. Cannan become horrible sleeper at 10 months. I think it was sensory overload for her to as she was mentally learning so much and physical went from crawling to running and got teeth. She also started taking solids allot more. 10 months is when coalescing really started for us full time. She just need me and I loved it and hated it. It too did pass. A phrase I say all the time to keep my crazy brain in check. You're a great person Leah and I miss u so much. You doing an amazing job as a mom. I look up to u every day.

comments closed for this entry

previous entry :: next entry