stupid beer tricks
It's summer, so that means the big beer companies are trotting out their hot-weather marketing campaigns. After all, if you're not going to drink weak, watery beer when you're hot and sweaty, you're not going to drink it any other time. So we get things like the Coors Light cold-activated bottle. Now, Coors Light is the brand with a taste so anemic that all they could think of for a promotion was to call it the "coldest-tasting beer"—As Cold As The Rockies, natch—so what they've done now is enable you to visualize that cold. Now, the picture of mountains on the front of the bottle turns blue when the beer is cold enough. Really! This is vastly superior to the old method of feeling the temperature of the bottle (dreadfully 20th century). The television advertisements depict groups of men abandoning their tasks and scrambling frantically to reach the bar when their friends alert them to the blue labels, so it may be that the target audience does not have refrigerators or coolers at home.
And then there's Bud Light Lime, with which flavor Anheuser-Busch admits, as Leah puts it, that their regular brand "tastes like crappy soda." In the old days people used to add lime—or even lemon!—to their beer themselves, if they felt that it would improve the flavor or "refreshment profile". No longer! Why bother to go to the trouble of finding an actual lime, when "Bud Light Lime offers adults the citrus taste, expected from a fresh squeezed lime, without a trip to the produce aisle"!!! It's not for me, though: the totally a real news article press release mentions a target audience of "active adults", "savvy partygoers", and "playful, outgoing men and women" (really! all those adjectives! and more!), and I don't think I'm any of those things. Oh well! I'll just have to survive the summer drinking water for refreshment and beer for delicious beery taste. And the occasional bout of drunkenness.