Hey Christians, is this offensive?
Just the title you want to see at the beginning of a blog entry right?
No seriously, here's a question for the three "high" Christians who read this blog (Howdy Baptists and Pagans! You can't contribute to this discussion!)
I sent this email to the parents of my Sunday school class, and some found it on the wee bit offensive side. I'll let you be the judge:
Dear Parent,
Is your child called to be an Acolyte?
Well double check, because we're calling on them now!
Bob has asked me to pass on the message that the church needs more acolytes to keep the up pomp and circumstance of the Sunday service. If your child is interested / willing, please either let me know, or contact Joan.
Peace,
Leah Archibald
So what do you say? Is it wrong to call the crucifers and candle-lighters pomp and circumstance? I mean, what else are they for? If you like pomp in your service, then you should have no problem with calling it that. It's not like thirteen-year-olds in white dresses really serve some role in increasing prayer-transmission. It's all pomp and you guys know it.
One email accused me of "not growing up in the church," which would be the cause of my pompitoryness. Oh yeah, like I have no experience with high ceremony in temple Judaism. From whence do you think your pomp emerges, losers?
a stirring tale
Every time we open a new jar of peanut butter, we face the same struggle. How, we wonder despairingly, are we ever going to stir in the oil that has separated out without spilling it all over the counter and, even worse, the outside of the jar, from which place it will never be completely removed? Is it even humanly possible?!
Well, I am happy to report that indeed it is indeed, and that I have achieved it with our current jar. And what a difference it makes to the quality of the peanut butter! Even now, more than halfway through the jar, the peanut butter is still a joy to spread—a far cry from the near-solid mass we usually face by this point in the PB cycle. So take heart, fellow consumers of hippy-style nut betters: there is yet hope!