so much
While we were driving home from a party this evening, Harvey asked me if I would read to him in bed even though it was late and he was tired.
"Yes, I'll be happy to read to you," I said, "because I love you."
I didn't say what would be more accurate, something like, 'Yes I'll be happy to read to you because you just ignored me for three hours while you played with your friends, and I have a lot of good will stored up from not interacting with you. Also I believe you'll be asleep before this ride is over.' Good thing I held my tongue too, because the next thing Harvey said was so sweet it literally made my heart leap in my chest:
"I love you so much it reaches heaven."
That boy. Knows how to charm a chapter of Prince Caspian out of a lady.
These days I have been noticing the love that my children give me, noticing how much I love them, and savoring the easiness of our life right now while it includes time for one-on-one doting with each of them. Perhaps I only notice this against the back-drop of terror over the upheaval that will soon come into our lives. I don't know for sure that a new baby will be bad for our family (that's optimism!) only that it'll be different. So for now I'm trying to soak up all the long cuddles and quiet times with my children as long as I can.
What Harvey says with words, Zion says by crawling into my lap and resting his head on my neck, his sweet little thumb in his mouth. To say I love those two boys does not say nearly enough. I love them so much it reaches heaven.