poopy pants
Something wasn't quite right this morning when I came back from my walk with the dog. I sat down at my desk and took a big sniff. What IS that? Is it the baby's diaper? Did the dog roll in something? Wait a minute, is it me? Did I...? Yes, yes I did. I stepped in poo.
That's okay, because I'd been meaning to buy a new pair of sneakers for several weeks. The current all-purpose pair lasted me through the last three months of my pregnancy, and then through a lot of runs since. Every time I got ready for the gym I'd think "I need a new pair of these soon." So not wanting to clean poop off the bottom of the worn sneak was just the incentive I needed to get my butt into the shoe store.
After work Dan and I packed up the baby and the dog and headed into Lexington center to visit Marathon Sports, the home of expensive running footwear. I brought with me the one non-poopy shoe (I have enough dignity to leave the smelly one home on the porch) and held it up to the salesman. "Another pair of these, please."
He brought out a brand new shiny pair of sneakers and I sat down to try them on. It was then that I noticed it... yellow and brown and smeared half-way up my pant leg.
"Oh my goodness, is that...?" I let slip. " I bent down to take a sniff. "It is. It's poop. I have poop on my pant leg."
I must have brushed my shoe up against my leg some time this morning and transfered the vile substance. What a realization. I had sat in poopy pants all day. And only reaized it when I was out in public, when another adult was literally standing over me staring at my leg smeared in animal feces.
"I have a baby at home" I tried to cover. "It could be from the baby." Like, as if that makes it better? Do you think it's better if people imagine that I hold a diaperless baby in my lap all day long and fail to notice when he shits down my leg?
Then the shoe salesman said something that totally redeemed the whole situation. "I can tell you're a mom" he said, "because you just bent down and smelled it. I would have puked if I saw that on my leg. But you just stuck your nose in it. When you're a mom nothing grosses you out anymore."