I am bad at many things.
I am a bad wife.
Dan spent 30 minutes lovingly making me lunch, and i left it on the kitchen table to go rotten and stench up the entire house by the time we get home this evening. And then i call Dan when he's at work and leave a message on his machine that says DID YOU PUT MY LUNCH IN THE FRIDGE BEFORE YOU LEFT, BECAUSE IF YOU DID NOT THE SHAME OF IT ALL WILL CERTAINLY CAUSE ME TO TAKE MY OWN LIFE BEFORE THE END OF THE AFTERNOON.
I am a bad test taker.
I will never get into business school because i will never succeed on the GMAT because i will never learn the multiplication tables because i am a complete idiot and say in front of a group of 10 people that 8 times 4 is 24 and the Princeton Review teacher looks at me as if my face was suddenly smeared with dog shit and asks me slowly to add 8 plus 8 and then add it again. And i say 24. Because my brain is an empty hollow space filled only with Britney tunes.
I am a bad car owner.
I still have my snow tires on my car, and it's almost june. And my front bumper has been broken for two years. And i can't bring myself to take it to the dealership because that involves getting someone else to drive me home, and then i sit at home all day on my one day off without a car and without anything to do. And then they end up keeping the damn thing for three days, and they say it's okay, i'll give you the number for hertz, and i say NO IT'S NOT OKAY BECAUSE I'M ONLY 24 YEARS OLD AND THAT MEANS I CAN OWN A HOUSE AND I CAN OWN A CAR AND I CAN RUN MY OWN BUSINESS AND I CAN PAY TAXES AND I CAN WORK MY ASS OFF, BUT I CAN'T RENT A GODDAMN CAR FOR TWO FREAKIN DAYS so i have to call my mother to drive me around like a little retarded child.
I am a bad manager.
When my employees aren't helping customers i think: I wish you were somewhere else, not in this store, away from me, so that i wouldn't feel burdened to find you something mundane task to do while we make small talk about my f-ing wedding planning DO NOT ASK ME ABOUT MY WEDDING PLANNING DO NOT ASK ME HOW THE WEDDING IS GOING IF YOU ASK ME ONE MORE TIME ABOUT THIS F-ING WEDDING I SWEAR TO GOD I AM GOING TO COME OVER THERE AND SLAP ACROSS YOUR UGLY MUG YOU I AM NOT KIDDING I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT BEFORE WHAT MAKES SO FRIGGIN INTERESTED IN MY WEDDING ANYWAY ?
I am a bad adult.
I am tired of working, i am tired of paying bills, i am tired of cleaning the house, i am tired of laundry, i am tired of working so hard, i am tired of leaving the house in the morning carying more lbs in daily luggage than twice my weight, i am tired of planning this stupid wedding, i am tired of being nice to my family, i am tired of studying, i am tired of working so hard, I AM TIRED OF WORKING SO HARD!!!!!