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south beached whale II

This morning i hoisted my fat ass onto the scale, and before i passed out from altitude sickness, i found out that i have lost a dismal 4 pounds since i started the south beach diet two weeks ago. Let me qualify this by saying I COULD SPIT FOUR POUNDS FASTER THAN LOSE WEIGHT ON THE F-ING SOUTH BEACH DIET. I could cut my hair and lose more weight than i did by KILLING MYSELF denying any carbs and ANY OTHER FREAKIN THING THAT MIGHT HAVE TASTED GOOD for two weeks. I could file my nails and lose more weight than the EATING SAND diet which purports to make you lose 8 lbs in the first two weeks, and which, apparently is written by lying lyers who lie and tell lies all the time.

I am coming to the realization that if i do ever want to be thin again, i have to suck it up and do what works, the only diet which has evar worked, which is NOT EATING, YOU STUPID FAT COW. sigh. i wish there was a complain-all-the-time-like-a-loser diet. i would be a shoe-in.

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