HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAN!!!
Yesterday Dan turned 29. As our vet would say: Oh my goodness!!!!
We celebrated by GETTING DISGUSTINGLY FAT, as always. On Saturday night we went out to dinner with Dan's parents to the restaurant which so irritatingly doesn't take reservations but which is so deliciously good that to go somewhere else would find us in violation of the LAW*. On Sunday afternoon, the church crew threw a bangin' party for Dan, during which he ate ice cream topped with chocolate topped with whipped cream topped with cheese-cake. We also played apples to apples, during which i had to judge which is more "Hopeless," "The Great Depression" or "Going to the Gym." Obviously, i picked the latter.
In the middle of the day i had to leave Dan to his own devices, because my Mommy is sick in the hospital with vahamatriculitimitus or something, a disease which you cannot even pronounce, but since it turns out not to be life-threatening, it's more annoying than scary. It gave us a good long time to chat, especially about my brother who has announced his plans to spend the summer in China at a Shoulin monistary studying meditation and Kungfu.
"Is he aware that meditation is, like, booring?" I said.
I also told my parents about how Tom's gonna up and get married at the beginning of April.
"So soon?" my mom said, "I was going to get them an engagement present. Are they registered anywhere?"
"Yeah, immigration," I said.
"Pier one imports," said my dad.
You can see where i get it from.
All in all, it was an eventful birthday for Dan, almost too eventful! Now that he's getting up in years, we're going to have to space out our partying to provide for more naps.
*Legal seafoods, dumbasses.