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lest I be judged

I'm usually not a judgmental sort, but put me on a bicycle and watch out! The following is a partial list of the things I've looked down on other riders for doing.

  • Adjusting their arm sleeves while stopped at the end of the bike path.
  • Wearing full kit and going slower than me.
  • Having aerobars.
  • Having a squeaky chain.
  • Passing me and then slowing down.
  • Passing me and then not letting me catch up, denying me a chance to demonstrate my superiority.
  • Wearing full kit and riding two abreast on the bike path with five feet separating the two riders.
  • Talking loudly about cycling while cycling.
  • Wearing a full face mask and goggles in March, when it's warmed up enough for me to think about going without my muffler.
  • Riding with an unbuckled helmet.
  • Riding a fixie.
  • Falling over at an intersection after failing to unclip.

And things I have not looked down on other riders for doing?

  • Being a young man riding a vintage step-through frame in an untucked button-down, with an unlit cigarette hanging out of his mouth.


See, if you rode in the city more you could add:
- Passing a group of cyclists who are stopped at a light, and then making them all pass you again
- Riding a multi-speed bike
- Riding a multi-speed bike like its a tractor trailer truck, starting from first gear at every stop, and shifting through every single gear as you slowly gain speed.
- Taking 10 seconds to get off the starting line when the light changes, while clipping back in (after falling down while failing to unclip)
- Being in my way

And then you get a whole 'nother list for motorized vehicles.
- Parking in bike lanes
- Turning across the bike lanes without looking
- All of the other things too many to mention

Totally agree with all of those, my single-speeding friend. But you have to cut us some slack on your third point: those big cassettes and derailleurs add all kinds of weight to the bike! Although I can't shift through every single gear, since most of mine don't work right now...

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