that's heavy bro

Dan: "Rascal needs to go out. Can i borrow your coat?"
Leah: "Sure... You can fit into my coat?
Dan: "Well, i might have trouble zipping it up, but it fits over my shoulders."
Leah: "Wow. I should lose some weight.... or you should gain some."
Dan: (to the tune of the milkshake sone) "The Pu - ppies all go out-in-the-yard..."
Leah: At least you're not thin on funk.

Happy Birthday Jake!

A few days ago, my brother turned 21. This occasion was maked by him being in Las Vegas and me neither calling him nor acknowledging his great right of passage in any way. I thought of calling him in the morning, but what with the time difference, i knew he wouldn't be awake unless he was still up from the night before. Then later in the evening i though of calling, but the probability that i would reach a drunk brother at the other end of the phone repulsed me to no end. When you think of your brother being drunk and in Las Vegas with his girlfriend, there is only a very small neuron-leap to thinking of your brother and the possibility that he might be having sex at the exact moment you want to call and wish him a happy birthday, and even if the chance is only 10-to-1, are you really willing to take that risk? I'm sure not! I will have to welcome my brother into adulthood in a fashion that involves my continued denial that he is an adult. My parents have pulled it off with me for ages!

If you'll ever speak to me again, Jake, happy birthday. Especailly considering your impending hangover, it's all down hill from here.

not fair to puppies

The puppy is still a puppy, so he stays in his little (big) crate when he's home alone. When he's in there the longest is when we're out doing exciting things like going to parties or whatnot (infrequent, yes, but it does happen), and in such cases when we come back we're tired and want to relax. Naturally, though, when he gets out of four hours of confinement the poor little puppy wants to romp and play, and when we decline to play with them he tries to play with the furniture, mostly by biting it. It can get frustrating and a little annoying, I have to say. Still, I can't blame the little guy. As long as he gets 100% of our attention, or else is sleeping, he's a great pet!