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So this post may push us over the edge, in your mind, from a couple who is cute and quaint and hippy to a couple who has gone off the deep end into certifiably nutzoid un-american cultish madness. But Dan's last post reminded me, and I'm dying to talk about this publicly, so here goes...

We hate Halloween.

What? Forreal? How could anyone hate Halloween?!

Well, there are several good reasons. The bellyaches for one, and then the over-priced plastic costumes, of the enforced sluttyness of most female options (cheerleader or sexy kitten?). But I don't mind that stuff all that much, and I'll defend any teenager's right to express herself in an obscenely short skirt. It's just that, well, we're Christians. And Halloween is a celebration of all things occult. The neighborhood is already starting to fill up with displays of ghosts and skeletons. Then closer to the date we get the devils and the zombies. I mean, I don't want to confuse God about what team I'm on.

Like I said, you can call us nutzoid, and it would be fair. Nobody ever got excommunicated for dressing their baby up like a puppy dog. Certainly not after the pope saw the photo and was all like "awwwwww.... the baby looks like a puppy!"

But I feel like you can't attend a bonfire without burning stuff, and so it feels disingenuous to take part in a collective festival of ghoulies and ghosties. But then all the neighbors are asking us what Harvey is going to "be for Halloween" and I'm just thinking "He's getting baptized the following day... I don't want to fuck it up!"

Which reminds me, mark your calendars for Sunday November 1st. We're gonna throw the hottest baptism brunch you have ever seen. Costume optional.

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