A week of firsts
On last Sunday Harvey's first tooth broke through the skin - his bottom front left. Then mid this week we noticed its neighbor peeking through too, and now they're both officially in, two bottom teeth for my little reverse rabbit. It was quite a physical feet for the four-and-a-half-month-old, and so Harvey also caught his first cold, opening the door to a bunch of other firsts. His first stuffy nose. His first bad cough. His first stretch of really sleepless sicky nights.
I thought I had gotten a lot of mothering under my belt in these past four-and-a-half months, and it's true that I've come a long way when it comes to changing diapers and soothing cries. But I was completely unprepared for my emotional response to a very sick baby. My very sick baby. I wanted to crumple in a heap and die because I couldn't make him better.
I reached a turningpoint in my parenting this weekend. Covered in snot and milk and vomit, I realized: Woah... this is going to take a long time. I mean, parenting. It's going to take a lot. Not just joyful mornings hung like beads on a string of family cuddles and trips to the zoo.... sleepless nights through every kind of illness when the night is lived out in every hour of its darkness because every hour is made up of 60 full minutes fully witnessed in moaning and sneezing and rocking a hot-headed baby against your chest.
I wanted to write more, but it's time to go back to rocking the baby, so please send well wishes to our little guy and sanity wishes to his mommy.
comments
I hope he feels better soon and you make it though it ok.