Nutcracker, coda
Dan says I came down a little hard on the Nutracker, a cultural event that is essentially morally neutral, and I agree with him. I didn't mean to be quite so harsh. I love classical ballet, after all. What I meant to come down on was our demand for certain emotional responses at certain times, both in children and adults. In my life I remember times when I said, well, I should cry when I put on my wedding dress, or when I hold my baby for the first time, and otherwise be emotionally numb (er, I mean, "stable"). So when these happen and don't know what to feel, I feel like there must be something wrong with me. Then when I want to cry while reading Harvey a book I say to myself, "Must be on my period! So emotional!" This is no way to be a human, and I want to save myself from it as much as I want to protect Harvey.
In Harvey's case I can tell he feels a huge weight on him when I ask him to perform, either by "enjoying" something like a shared cultural experience, or by "learning" something (even just sitting in kids' church is pretty loaded for him). This is a great case for unschooling or even just relaxed pedagogical methods, though I'm taking a break from reading about pedagogy right now because it was turning me into a second-guessing judgmental asshole.
You see I can't write a simple message these days without going around the bend... must be on my period! Anyway, I just wanted to add that if you're taking your child to the Nutcracker this year I think that's WONDERFUL and I hope you really do have a magical time.