my sweet boys
There are times when my children are selfish greedy monsters, and I'm sure I've written about those times on this blog. Probably written about them too much really, but venting can be a healthy thing sometimes.
There are also times, in equal measure, when my kids are beautiful sweet angels who astound me with their goodness and imbue every moment with love and meaning. Today was such a day. The boys behaved remarkably at church. When we came home Zion cuddled with me as we read six books and Harvey helped Dan bake bread. Then Zion played quietly while I did some weaving with Harvey, and Harvey made enthusiastic comments as we genuinely enjoyed doing the same thing together. Then when I said I was starting to feel sick, Harvey asked if I wanted him to pray for me. Now they're playing outside with Dan while I take a rest in the bed. I don't know how my family got so amazing, but clearly they were sent directly from heaven. Either that or all the other hours I spend serving them this week just paid out, ka-ching.
I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones, but I feel overwhelmed in moments such as these, when my kids are just good, and not only well behaved but honestly nice human beings. When I expect Harvey or Zion to throw a fit because I'm, say, leaving Harvey at kid's church, or leaving Zion while I go exercise, and I'm mentally steeled for a fight and instead they wave and say, "Bye Mama," when this sort of thing happens I have all this preparatory adrenaline pumping through my system and I just want to sit down and cry with joy. "My children are rational!!!" I want to sob. And then I don't want to leave them at all anymore. I want to hug them and bake them cookies and stick my nose in their sweet-smelling hair.
A day like today which came after a week of working SO HARD, it makes me think all this work is worth it, that any amount of work would be worth it to stare at Zion's perfectly symmetrical face, to hear Harvey's laugh. I'm not as skilled at writing about happy things as I am with the alternative, but I have to testify, I just I really really love those kids.
love
comments
What a great post. Parenting Noah and Eli I feel like I'm always on this emotional roller coaster. I take their behaviour so personally. The moments where we genuinely are just enjoying eachothers' company are too rare (rather than my being so excited about the moment that I start hugging everyone and talking about it), but I think that's also part of being constantly with crazy toddlers.