lost phone = existential crisis
I have a complicated relationship with my phone. On the one hand, I kind of hate it: it lurks in my pocket like a little distraction bomb, ready to explode out and take over my life if I'm not totally absorbed in what I'm working on. On the other, I rely on it for so many things! It's my watch, my map, my weather report, my encyclopedia, and my card-playing companion (thanks to far too much time spent on cardgames.io). Also I occasionally text people and, every once in a great while, use it to make calls. On balance, I wish I didn't need it but I totally do. So I was dismayed when, after an early morning off-road ride with Harvey Tuesday morning, I couldn't find it anywhere.
I looked around the house; I looked in the car. I looked in my backpack, then looked there again. Leah was out walking the dogs, but envisioning the phone lying in the parking lot at the trail we'd riden I couldn't keep myself from telling the kids to find books to read while I drove back there to check. It wasn't there. At that point our morning had been pretty well derailed, but I got myself together to get everybody through the minimum of morning work. Then before lunchtime, with Leah's encouragement, I went back to the trail *again, with my bike this time, and rode the whole morning's route backwards searching the ground the whole way. No luck—not, of course, that I expected to find a five-inch-long black object in a mile and a half of fall leaves.
What was the most frustrating thing about having lost it? I didn't really miss it for what it was, actually, even if I did find myself without any way to tell what time it was when we were out at the farmers market that afternoon. The thought of the money it would take to replace was a factor, certainly—a couple hundred bucks minimum. And the hassle of getting it set up with my number and everything (the hassle for Leah, to be fair, since she handles the phone business in our house). Worst of all, though, was just the feeling of not being able to remember what on earth I could have done with the stupid thing! When was the last time I looked at it? Checking the map on the trail? When we got back to the car? Somewhere in the house?! I had no idea at all. The frustration I felt made me realize how overwhelmed I am with everything in general—with the various different responsibilities I'm juggling between parenting and homeschooling, work, housework, and all the other stuff that needs to get done. Not to suggest that I'm doing any more than anyone else... I just not as good at it! I can't even keep track of my own phone!
Then yesterday Leah looked in the car and she found it in like 30 seconds. Crisis averted, I guess!