posts tagged with 'internet'

why listening to the internet is a mistake

I've had this article open in a browser tab for well over a week, so I need to write about it here to clear it off my computer and out of my mind. It's called "Why Adding Milk To Your Scrambled Eggs Is A Mistake", and in it the author states baldly that "[o]ne common mistake people make when cooking scrambled eggs is adding milk or cream. You may have been whisking your eggs with milk since you were a little kid, but we're telling you now: It's time to stop."

Why?

It may seem counterintuitive, but the addition of milk, cream or any other liquid for that matter, will actually make it more likely that your eggs will turn out dry. By thinning out the eggs, it's easier to overcook them. Most importantly, the milk dilutes the taste of the eggs. It also screws with the texture, leaving the eggs slightly rubbery — and no one wants rubbery eggs. If you're using good, farm fresh eggs, you don't need anything except maybe a little salt and pepper to make them taste delicious. A little butter never hurt anyone, either.

The author, Alison Spiegel, "is a Food Editor at the Huffington Post. She is a graduate of Middlebury College, and she currently lives in Brooklyn." I don't know part of that qualifies her to to judge egg preparation, but I'm pretty sure that her main qualification to the bosses at HuffPo is the ability to draw traffic, and she hit the jackpot with that egg post (which I got to via google news); most of her posts have maybe two comments, but that particular gem pulled in 693 at current count. I didn't read any of them.

I only hope people aren't really following her advice and leaving milk out of their eggs. I've been making eggs with milk or cream for years and they're always really good; why on earth would I change at the unreferenced suggestion of a Middlebury grad living in Brooklyn?! But I bet there are people who will: the same people who can't resist the latest weird diet trick, or believe conspiracy theories. "I hadn't thought of that before, so it must be true!"

There's nothing wrong with changing your mind about things, certainly. I've done things one way for years before realizing I was "wrong": I used shaving cream like a chump until it occurred to me that plain old soap does a better job. But when I make a change you know it's based on my own experience, a trusted friend, or a well-reasoned argument. Not some handwaving about how milk "screws with the texture".

As for milk and cream in eggs specifically, I'm going to stick with what works for me. And if I want backup justification, I'll turn to the words of Tamar Adler, also a Brooklyn resident, but one who has cooked at Prune and Chez Panisse (as well as her own restaurant):

Beat two or three eggs in a bowl, adding a pinch of salt and a teaspoon of heavy cream if you want. This is not a trick, but an expression of the fact that things taste good with cream added.

And I'll do it a lot: I forgot to check our henhouse for eggs two days ago and yesterday there were ten to bring in. Scrambled eggs with cream every morning, and never mind about that dumb bossy internet!

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post em if you got em

To my dear friends on facebook who post bikini selfies from some tropical island while New England is having the biggest snowfall ever and I can't step outside my house without a shovel and snow-pants and a hat that was the unfortunate end of a rabbit:

go on with your bad selves.

I had some thoughts earlier this week, some choice words for you, but your selifes have stirred in me a moral dilema. A moral dilema that is developing into a change of heart.

I want to be jealous or judgmental or flippant. But it goes agains my blogger moral code. After all, how can we truly share our lives with others if we don't TRULY SHARE with others.

Facebook is a fantastic medium for saying, "This is where I'm at right now." For some of you, where your at is a beautiful island that took a lot of money to fly to, wearing a bikini that you effortlessly slipped into four months postpartum. Even though I'm jealous to the point of rage, I'm gonna hold it in and bless you in your joy. Go ahead and snap a photo of your huge margarita. Your friends are dying to comment the word "Yum."

For other folks like me, where we're at is up all night with a baby for the 10th night in a row, in the same stupid messy house, and I can't possibly imagine what it would feel like to wear a bikini; I'm wondering whether I can fashion warmer more protective clothing out of blankets.

If you're like me, go on. Post your baby's sleep habits to facebook. No one is bored to tears by the number of hours you were or were not unconscious. Pretend that everyone wants to commiserate. Your friends are all waiting to comment, "Aw, boo."

Let's share our lives, people. Whether they're good or bad. Whether we're so tired we want to hurt ourselves, or whether we're so blessed that other people want to hurt us. Let's share.

I too have been guilty of the perfectly-timed selfie. There is a reason why all my profile pictures show me looking down and slightly to the side with a mischievous half-smile on my face. It's not because I always lovingly gaze at my children this way. It's an attempt to achieve the perfect nose-to-cheekbone ratio. In demi profile no one can see the full length of my schnoz, and the half smile is because I want my cheeks to pull up the fat under my chin, but not enough to unleash the crows feet around my eyes. It's a delicate balancing act, the pose I take on when I hear a camera click, and under different genetic circumstances I think I could have possessed the self-awareness to be a fashion model.

kissing is also very good for slimming out the face

I think, "I don't wear makeup so my pics are progressive and helpful to the feminist conversation." But really, in the depths of my wicked heart I'm saying is, "Look at me, bitches! Look at how much my cheekbones love my baby! I am a good looking hippy mama!" This is pride and it's born of comparison which breeds jealousy. And jealousy keeps me from being happy when my friends experience good things. Instead of celebrating with them their financial and circumstantial and dieting success.

Here is my hope for facebook and this blog the "life-sharing economy." I hope that we can all get more honest about sharing, while simultaneously becoming more empathetic to the people around us. Let's rejoice with those who rejoice! Let's mourn with those who mourn! Let's write our "yums" and "boos" and really for a moment try to enter into the reality of someone else's life. It can only serve to make our lives richer and less lonely.

If I, on the other hand, follow my impulse is to close off, to judge or be jealous, or to label someone else's complaints as "first world problems," if I am more concerned with my own selfie than looking through the tiny windows into someone else's existence, then I am losing out. I want to FEEL with others people and their circumstances, just as I hope you will FEEL something when you read mine.

So bring it, vacation goers. Bring it skinny bitches. Bring it married people who go on dates, and people without kids who order really big portions at restaurants. Photograph all that shit. I want to see it and be happy for you.

And if you are sad, if you are tired of shoveling, if you are just plain tired, please share that too. I want to register my concern and my love for you, and if I just click "like" you'll know that I mean "I like you, but not your situation."

It's the weekend friends. Happy facebooking!

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Elsewhere on the internet today... I wrote more words.

If you happen to be searching for the meaning of life on the internet, you are in luck this week; there's new landing site for you! Horatio is a new online magazine hoping to (in the words of its about page) "stir up broad-based conversations about the deepest things in life." Of course, they asked me to write an article for their launch week because conversations about the deepest things in life are basically my wheelhouse. (No, Just kidding. Making fun of clothes is my wheelhouse. I submitted an article for free.)

My introductory article: WHAT'S FUN TODAY? My five-year-old, annoyingly, is onto something. is about how to survive the desperation of parenthood by finding tiny moments of enjoyment and enjoying the shit out of them.

And spoiler alert: in a few weeks I will publish an article with the exact opposite premise. You know, because the meaning of life is relative and I want to cover my bases.

Please take a look at my article over at Horatio, where you'll find many articles more inspiring than mine illustrated with professional photographs. They will get you closer to meaning, I promise you.

elsewhere on the internet

I have a guest post on Composting Faith today. It's about living your values sometimes and sometimes not. And (ba da ba ba ba) loving it. Go and read if you want to see something 50% more edited than most of what you see here.