the squibix family blog

1. Candy is terrible. I hate having it in the house. Read a little from Marion Nestle on the subject. We made a batch of cookies to give out, but we also had lots of candy—and we only gave out a little bit of it while the kids brought lots more home.

2. In a blog post about their awesome trick-or-treat experience, Eric and Kelly of Root Simple point out a valuable truth: "the fun that Halloween provides really helps get to know neighbors. We need more festivals in our lives like this, where we take a break from day to day concerns and work together, on the neighborhood level, to create space for joy and unity." I've heard folks talk about lovely Halloween community experiences in Somerville and Cambridge and even Arlington; we have a little of that here in Bedford but not enough to balance out the individualistic pursuit of ever-more candy.

3. In the aftermath today the boys found and collected a plastic diamond, a spider ring, and an adult-sized hot-dog costume. One of those might come in handy one day...

The event was in Falmouth on Cape Cod, and since we're shiftless layabouts we were able to leave early on Friday to beat the traffic. That meant we had plenty of time to sight-see, so we met friends in Woods Hole to see some sights.

I had no idea, but Woods Hole is full of free attractions, including an aquarium and a museum of oceanography. The latter featured a very realistic mockup of the cockpit of Alvin, a famous submersible that sails out of the port.

There was also a movie to watch and lots of delicate displays that our energetic children needed to be warned away from occasionally. So when we got to the hotel where the retreat was being held the boys and I headed right down to the beach—with the gray sky, spitting rain, and whipping wind we knew we'd have the place to ourselves with plenty of room to run. Never mind the weather, the ocean is wonderful.

As we settled into out luxurious hotel room a few minutes later—distracted only slightly from our unpacking by the littler boys dancing naked on the bed—the setting sun peeked from below the clouds, giving a promise of better weather tomorrow.

Of course, who needs good weather when you have a king-sized bed, a tv, and chicken fingers and fries served on fine china?

There were also cookies; a plate for each kid, adorned with a decorative flower. The adults had a Mexican buffet.

True to the promise of the previous evening, the morning dawned bright and fine. It turns out that tv is a wasteland—even the kids didn't find anything they thought was worth watching—but never mind, we had a balcony.

At this point—maybe a little past 7:00—Leah was already out and about, on her way to running a half-marathon. Maybe she'll write something about it here... but probably not. So I was in sole charge of the kids for the morning. My own three were perfect angels at the delightfully complete breakfast buffet, although Lijah, with a waffle and chocolate chips on his plate (basically his favorite foods, and the latter not usually a breakfast choice), ate only a single packet of sugar. After breakfast I took charge of a group of 15 other kids (well, 12 others and my three), and about that the less said the better. It did not go so easily. But, as directed, I took them to the beach (not sunny any more—in fact, pretty chilly!) and, for variety, to a marsh behind the parking lot.

They also acted crazy in a small ballroom for a while. In retrospect it wasn't so bad—they were all making the best of a tough situation, and we mostly had fun—but at the time it was pretty stressful. So I was glad to get outside for a picnic lunch with just a few close friends (including Mama with her fresh new medal!).

After lunch I couldn't dissuade the boys from swimming in the heated indoor pool, which was fun and all... but it didn't have waves. So after a bit I declared unilaterally that I was going out to swim in the ocean, and I got Harvey and Mama—and few other kids—to come along for the fun!

The water was only regular cold, but it was super windy, so we didn't last long. It was still lovely, though. Harvey and I made plans to try it another time with snow on the ground. Zion and Lijah are more sensible.

Mid-afternoon it was back with the Kids Program, but less-programed: another volunteer and I just took everyone interested out to the beach. That was super fun. The wind was stronger than ever, so it was just the thing to play in a deep hole.

A little later I took a small group for a run down the beach. We found a breakwater and walked out along it, then turned around and walked the other way along an inlet and then under the beach-front road (we had to crawl!). On the other side we were all delighted to find a secret beach!

It was out of the way and out of the wind, and we would have loved to stay to enjoy it fully... but sadly, our retreat time was drawing to an end and parents would soon be looking for their children. So we ran back—much easier with the wind!—so they could be delivered. It was hard to leave the beach.

At no point in the weekend did I or Leah get to participate in any of the many retreat activities planned for adults—well, except the spectacular meals! But that's ok, because I had a great time with some lovely people, which as far as I'm concerned is much more valuable.

Let's do it again next year! (with some minor changes, already being discussed among the church staff...).

Other minor things contributed to my feelings of dislocation. I made some stupid mistakes in trying to bring my computer into the current decade through a series of updates—until a few days ago it was pretty much stuck in 2007. Despite that it was at least deeply familiar to me, and fairly well-customized; now with the botched update it's still out-of-date but strangely unfamiliar. And my camera's not working, so even when we did have moments of delight this past week I wasn't able to capture them for posterity (except with my crappy phone camera).

I don't mean to suggest those little annoyances are anything like our national catastrophe; far from it. But as I wandered around the house in a stunned daze I often found myself sitting down in front of the computer only to realize I basically couldn't do anything useful with it—it had no comfort to offer me. It didn't help that I've sworn off the news, because it turns out reading about politics online occupied maybe 20% of my time over the past couple months. Avoiding it now leaves me with lots of time to wonder what I'm doing with my life.

But we had a good day today, even if I didn't manage to photograph it. And I'm beginning to accept that my elderly computer is as updated as it's ever going to be, and make my peace with that. At least it won't ever change again! The national picture's no better, but I'm encouraged by what I hear from friends in person and online about how the election results has made them think harder about what they're doing to be kind to people and to make the world a better place. That's small consolation in the face of Tuesday's catastrophe, but at least it's a start...

Number one: I got all the boys together for a song-and-movement session. All three of them stayed engaged the whole time—not distracted by their own instruments or toys or each other—and did some great singing and direction-following. Some of it was kindergarten-appropriate, some of it aimed more at the two-year-old demographic, and Harvey was a great helper and demonstrator through it all. It may seem like a small thing—it may be a small thing—but our boys aren't easily led, so it felt like a great blessing to be able to do something like that with all three of them at once. And they had fun; maybe we can do it again some day.

Number two: immediately afterward I called rest time, sent Harvey and Zion to their beds with their books, put on some loud music, and told Lijah it was time to take a nap. He protested, but by the time "Brooklyn" was three-quarters done he was asleep. Just like old times! And when I told the big boys they could get up they asked if they could keep reading (it helped that the alternative I offered was helping me clean up).

So not everything is horrible. I'll note the good things here, and in our homeschooling log. In a month or so we'll maybe have enough to send in a progress report!

I like eating garlic, and the garlic we grow is delicious. Besides that, though, I also appreciate the simple multiplicative nature of the endeavor. You plant one clove in the fall and then in the summer you pull out a whole head, five or eight or twelve cloves. Then you break those up and plant them to get even more! I've never played Farmville or any of those farming simulator games, but I think the garlic planting business captures something of the same appeal. It's a little bit slower, I guess, but never mind—plenty other aspects of my life are rushing by too quick to manage.

I've also heard that garlic is the best crop small farmers can grow, on a dollar-per-square-foot basis. While I don't know if that's really the case—seems like heirloom tomatoes would be tough to top—it's certainly true that you'll pay a dollar a head at the farmers market for garlic that's much punier than what we grow here in our well-composted garden. I bought about $40 of seed garlic this year to broaden the diversity of our crop and we'll only harvest the $90 worth next summer; but we'll be able to eat or give away 70 of those heads and still have enough left to put in over 100 cloves next fall. Then 150 the year after... and 400 the year after that! Assuming we only keep back the 70 each year, that is. We may have to do better than that, or our whole yard will be garlic plants by fall 2022...

She did a wonderful job with her sermon—twice—and that would have been plenty. Besides that, though, she ended up doing most of the Cafe setup, since nobody else was there on time to do it. It made the church feel smaller than it is: you know, when the preacher has to set up the refreshments. Lijah was in my care for some of the second service, after spending some time in Sunday school and some time with Grandma. I was trying to do things, like brew more coffee, but he was very distracted by being able to hear Mama's voice over the speakers. One time I turned around and he was gone; I knew where he was going and caught him just at last (first!) row of seats before the stage (and I like to think I did it without being too distracting too!). Then we sat and listened for a while.

We were there from 8:30 until almost 2:00, so it was a day. Everybody was glad for some down time when we got home—just like we are every Sunday afternoon! And we're all looking forward to a nice quiet day of school and housework today. Mondays are the best!

Zion and Lijah made some time to play in it before breakfast. Harvey, being older and more heavily burdened with responsibilities, had to make due with bringing a snowball in along with the eggs as he did his chores. (Don't worry, they all got to have fun in it when we went out to the bus stop—we still do that).

When the sun got going at 11:00 or so the snow melted right away, but not before marking our morning with delight. On the other hand, it was pretty cold in the house all day, which we might have to do something about... but that's a topic for another blog post.

Whatever you have going on today I hope it's delightful. May all the travel be safe and easy, all the food delicious and easily digestible, and all the interactions with relatives joyful and life-giving! Happy Thanksgiving!

They did lots of running around together inside and out, miraculously without any damage to the house. Harvey and Zion were huge fans of the other boys at the party; they're sad to hear my feelings about the likelihood of reconnecting with second cousins' second cousins, especially ones who live in New Jersey. Lijah impressed in how much he was able to keep up with the rough play, and when he got tired out there was always the football to watch.

Yesterday we went to Leah's parents' house, where we had a delightful time hanging out with them and her brother, recently moved away to California. It was so nice we didn't realize how late it was getting and didn't leave until after 9:00. So this morning was slow, but by lunch time we were galvanized and ready for our last party, with the Archibald grandparents and friends. It was another bigish gathering, but a very relaxed one.

With all that fine dining, the only thing we made ourselves was a loaf of bread and a couple of pies. True, without a dinner here at home we miss out on the best of the leftovers (though both grandmas were kind enough to send home doggie bags), but we have plenty of desert to go around!

I took pictures of each of my four turkey-dinner plates this week. Here they are, presented without comment (those are just the first helpings—in all cases I had at least seconds).

Now I don't need to eat for a week.

Harvey is in charge of collecting the eggs these days, so I don't know if he experiences a thrill when he sees three eggs in the box this late in the year. Visiting children certainly seem to appreciate finding even one, but they aren't out in the cold before 7:00 in the morning doing a chore they have to do six days a week. Either way, though, I'm pretty thrilled when he brings in a haul like that. Here it is the end of November, and our egg carton is still just about full! I think we've bought five or six dozen for fall baking, but for eating we've been doing pretty well with what our farm can provide. I can't wait to see how many eggs we'll get come spring! Strangely, it makes me want to get even more hens...

It's a good thing the egg numbers are holding up, because we now have another egg eater in the family: Lijah has finally realized that scrambled eggs, at least, are delicious, and now happily shares in the breakfasts we make for the other two boys (that's his little hand reaching out for a raw one in the photo above). Since Leah's not doing breakfast these days I get by making four eggs on egg mornings now, though I understand from friends who have bigger kids that that won't suffice for long. But for now we're doing well, and I feel confident about the future. Keep up the good work, hens!

It does help that all three boys have plenty of indoor interests that can captivate them even when the weather's fine. And I had some school things for them to do too—and so did Grandma when she visited in the morning. School and books took all morning, then we had lunch, then I played pirates and Legos with Lijah while the big boys enjoyed some time away from me across the street. Lijah's nap time was devoted to discovering—and inventing—how I could make dinner for seven adults and six kids from the ingredients we had in the house. Then all those folks came over and brought all the life and energy of the outside world here. I don't think any of us felt confined at any time today.

Although, I didn't get a lot of exercise, so I'm not sure how well I'll be able to sleep tonight. I guess a good first step would be going to bed...